Sunday, August 3, 2008

To All Married Couples and Singles Who Intend To Get Married

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her handand said, 'I've got something to tell you.' She sat down and atequietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her knowwhat I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. Shedidn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away thechopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew shewanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I couldhardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovelygirl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which statedthat she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car.She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who hadspent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I feltsorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not takeback what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expectedto see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea ofdivorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmerand clearer now.The next day, I came back home very late and found her writingsomething at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight tosleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventfulday with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the tablewriting. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't wantanything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. Sherequested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal alife as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in amonth's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our brokenmarriage.This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me torecall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her outof our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was goingcrazy.Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly andthought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has toface the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had anybody contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. Sowhen I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Ourson clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His wordsbrought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, thento the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closedher eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. Inodded, feeling somewhat upset.I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work.I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted muchmore easily. She leaned on my chest... I could smell the fragrance ofher blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefullyfor a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There werefine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage hadtaken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacyreturning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life tome. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacywas growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier tocarry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout mademe stronger.She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a fewdresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all mydresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown sothin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenlyit hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in atthe moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeinghis father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of hislife. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged himtightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change mymind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from thebedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surroundedmy neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was justlike our wedding day.But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I heldher in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school.I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lackedintimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly withoutlocking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change mymind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her,Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead. 'Do youhave a fever?' She asked. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, Isaid, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably becauseshe and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn'tlove each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her intomy home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death doesus apart.Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and thenslammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and droveaway. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowersfor my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. Ismiled and wrote:'I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart'The small details of our lives are what really matter in arelationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bankbalance that matters. These create an environment conducive forhappiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to beyour spouse's friend and do those little things for each other thatbuild intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do,you just might save a marriage.Relationships are made not to exploit, not to be broken.We teach some by what we say, We teach some more by what we do,But we teach most by who we are- UnknownYou don't get to choose how you are going to die, or when, but, youcan decide how you are going to live, here and now.Remember:people will forget what you said ...people will forget what you did ...but people will never forget how you made them feel ...'You Have to Learn Lessons Also from Others Mistakes because you willNot Get Time to Do All the Mistakes on Your Own

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1 Comments:

At August 13, 2008 at 1:18 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

A partner for life and soul and my life will be the result of the choice I will make......THANK YOU, emotional but very encouraging and a round of applause for a Happy Ending!

 

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